THE IRON(y) MAN!!!

 
" Either you die a hero or live long enough to become a villain"

Once upon a time there was an old man who had dreams of ruling Bharat; that is India! He set out in a chariot (in the 20thcentury if you please) to correct a ‘wrong’ committed in some bygone era. His band of loyal supporters spread their message of hate all along the route his chariot took. Like a King he was adored, his every word was worth its weight in gold. But he was not yet King. He would be crowned soon if things went as planned. As part of his grand design the to-be-King led a sea of men and women to destroy an old relic which offered very little resistance to human hate. That done, he seemed to feel as if they had wiped out the bad chapters of History from Bharat’s past; where marauders had taken over and ruled the land rightfully owned by the majority. The majority was constantly irritated by the sops doled out by the then ruling party to the minorities. They feared the minorities’ supposed loyalty to Bharat’s nasty neighbour and also abhorred their supposed fertility, where the minorities with their various lawful wives would procreate in a manner not known to human beings and eventually become the majority! This fear, this false sense of insecurity and the man who wanted to change this once and for all (he had a chariot too) paved the way for their party’s victory at the polls. And he was called the Iron man (a term only fit for Sardar Patel, but that’s only my opinion, and who cares about my opinion….I don’t have any chariot!)

Finally they were going to get their due and their temple! But on the day of the coronation the man with the chariot was in for a rude shock! He was all dressed up as a King and looked very splendid but to his utter dismay a mild mannered poet who had no part to play in the chariot race suddenly trumped him to the throne, because the party wanted somebody more ‘inclusive’ to rule Bharat. The Iron man suddenly lost his mettle. All his work was for nothing? And there was the court case and the commission! He was busy denying the very things that he had so proudly orchestrated and worked so hard to achieve. The Poet recited poetry, tried his hands at converting Bharat’s wily neighbour into a friend but had to go to war instead. And yet nobody wanted the Iron man, the King-in-waiting, on the throne! The temple was doomed.
But worse was yet to come! A motley group whose oratory was distinctly lacking, came to power in the next poll. The undisputed Queen of that party relinquished the throne that Iron man was still dreaming of sitting on, with an ease that shocked him and Bharat. People suddenly felt that a person who could do that would do wonders for Bharat. She put a very respected economist on the throne. He didn’t wear a crown, his turban was what he was comfortable in. He had to be reminded that he was the King, he had to be prodded to speak! What insanity was this! The Iron man waited, licking his wounds; some inflicted by his own people. His acerbic tongue still attracted a huge following. Among them was a loyal fan from the State of the Mahatma. When the Iron man had gone one step, the Fan Boy had gone two. In his state there was no question of which community was in power! When the Poet censured Fan boy, the Iron man patted Fan boy lovingly and assured him that the tide will turn in their favour. They waited. And it did! At least for Fan Boy! Fan boy ruled the State of the Mahatma with a firm hand and an autocratic manner. He had learnt it from the Iron man. His State prospered and he got the reputation of a man who delivers good governance, his detractors be damned! Meanwhile a consecutive win at the polls for the Queen and her Economist flummoxed the Iron man and his party. His magic seemed to be fading like the dress he had worn at the coronation long ago. The trunk that stored his dreams had a distinctly musty smell. Luckily for Fan Boy, the Queen and her Economist had completely lost the plot! They had forgotten that they were there to serve the people, not themselves, their relatives and friends. They introduced India to a lot of ‘gates’ (till then, Colgate only whitened teeth). The Queen’s party was inefficient, infamous, insufferable and the Economist wore his turban very, very uneasily as the years went by. The people of Bharat had had enough of the inflation,indecisiveness, lack of security, corruption and scams that were raising their ugly head by the second. This was the chance! The Iron Man would be King yet. He started polishing his chariot once again.

But not all stories have a happy ending.
When people started clamouring for an Iron Man, Fan Boy was the one they were referring to. Even before the next polls he was the undisputed crown prince. People who had dared oppose Fan Boy at one time suddenly clamoured for a look from him in their direction, even a disdainful or dismissive one. They were all looking forward to becoming his courtiers and turned into his most vociferous supporters. Today, the Iron Man is sick from the loss of his dreams. He doesn’t join his party at the tourist’s paradise of India. He knows that he has to lock away the clothes he had once planned to wear as King. He has nobody surrounding him with praises except a handful of his party members who don’t really matter to anybody. He cringes when people shout out Fan Boy’s name in adulation. He wants so much for him to at least seek his advice; at least thank him, his mentor, every time he conquers the crowd with his speech.  But Fan Boy is now his own man. He doesn’t need anybody. He believes others need him.

Suddenly Iron Man hears people shouting outside his residence. His heart overflows with joy. He thinks his supporters have come to carry him to the tourist’s paradise because he is unwell. He stumbles out to his balcony, one hand already raised to bless his adoring supporters. That hand comes in handy to stop the stone hurled by angry supporters of Fan Boy. They are protesting his lack of support to Fan Boy! He is shouting out to tell Fan Boy that with every sunrise there is a sunset and that there is many a slip between a crown prince and a coronation! But he is not heard. All that the Fan Boy’s fans want to hear is an apology for insulting Fan Boy! The Iron man sits down on the floor of his balcony to collect his strength. He walks out of his house with a purpose. The chariot in his garden mocks him. He walks to the house of the Poet. The Poet has not had any visitors for years. The Poet asks if everything is alright. The Iron man cries like a little child. He looks at the Poet and says, “You were right". They both sit in the Poet’s balcony watching the Sun set.

Archiving the Archivist! "The Celluloid Man"

Shivendra Singh's tribute to Mr P K Nair.

What a privilege it was for me to see “the Celluloid man” directed by Shivendra Singh Dungarpur. The film has got the award for best biographical film and best editor in the recently concluded National Awards. The film deserves all the awards possible because 1) The work of Mr Nair is very very important. It is because of him that we as film students or film buffs, have had the opportunity to see at least some of what Mr Nair could preserve of pre Independence Indian Cinema and some of the best of European, Russian and Japanese Cinema.2) Because what Mr Nair has done should not stop with him, but continue with the same passion and honesty (a thing which is not happening unfortunately). Because if we have a past and we don’t record History, it is lost forever or even more dangerously, can be distorted in the years to come.

Shivendra has told us the story of the untiring, passionate archival work done by Mr P K Nair, a legend at FTII and founder of the National Film Archives of India. What Hsuan Tsang did in terms of recording Indian History of the early 7^th century AD and introducing Buddhism to China, Mr Nair has done for the history of Indian Cinema. Because History, it definitely is. Today we remember Dadasaheb Phalke as the father of Indian Cinema because Mr Nair travelled to Nasik in the year 1969 and salvaged what he could of the film clips that the sons of Dadasaheb Phalke parted with. He visited the bungalow where Dadasaheb Phalke had shot Raja Harishchandra. And today when he goes to the site where Dadasaheb Phalke used to live he is sad and so are you. The house has not been preserved. There is only a large commemorative stone on the road in the midst of small shops jostling for their daily business, which says that the father of Indian Cinema lived here once. So without Mr Nair we would still be fighting about who made India’s first film. Unfortunately in our country, giving credit to where it belongs almost always means taking it away from another person. In the bargain nobody is allowed to be celebrated at all! Let’s face it, archiving or preserving has never been our forte. We have allowed many an art form, folk form, Indian craft to become extinct because of lack of Govt. patronage or lack of a collective will. Many heritage monuments face disrespect from our country men daily. Our natural resources, flora and fauna have also not been spared. In this respect, Mr Nair’s childhood passion of preserving and recording things meticulously as well his mad love for Cinema, has helped scores of us directly as students of Cinema and many more film buffs who’ve watched the regular screenings that he threw open to the public so that we could be proud of our History. An audience for good Cinema has to be nurtured. He is not a hoarder who wants things for himself, he is a nurturer who wants to share. Therein lies his greatness. If he saw a genuine thirst in you, he would go out of his way to give you access to the many treasures lying behind the locked vaults of NFAI. A point brought about beautifully by the scores of film directors and actors who’ve graduated from FTII like Saeed Mirza, Naseeruddin Shaha, Kumar Shahani, Jahnu Barua, Hariharan, Adoor Gopalakrishnan, Shaji Karun, Ketan Mehta, Girish Kasarvalli, Shyam Benegal, Shabana Azmi, Vidhu Vinod Chopra, Raju Hirani, Santosh Sivan, Balu Mahendra.

His evocative description of how he felt very royal sitting on the floor of the tent house Cinema to watch films as a child in Kerala; royal because the white sands of Kerala were associated with splendour, rituals, festivities and Cinema for young Nair was an expression of all that and much more. It was and still remains a fascination, a passion and an obsession with him. The film shows us so many rare sequences of old black and white films, it’s a film aficionado’s dream! It starts and ends with two of my favourite films, ‘Citizen Kane’and ‘Kaagaz Ke Phool’. Raja Harishchandra, Kaliya Mardan, Devdas, Meghe Dhaka Tara, Kismet, Achhut Kanya, Chandralekha, Kalpana and the Lumiere brothers’ “An Arrival Of A Train In A Station”, a film which fascinated Dhundiraj Govind Phalke and fuelled his passion for making moving images or movies.

Mr Nair can say the dialogues of Citizen Kane even without looking at the film running behind him. He can rattle of which reel the Odessa step sequence in ‘The Battleship Potemkin’ is or which reel the song “Door hato o duniya waalon Hindustaan hamaaraa hai” from the immensely popular black and white film “Kismet” is or many many more; the list just goes on. The thing which strikes you most is the effort to get films from all over India. Everything has become so Hindi film centric these days that many people forget the contribution of regional films like Bengali, Marathi, Malayalam, Tamil, Telugu, Kannada, Assamese, Oriya etc. to the History of Indian Cinema. But for Mr Nair Cinema is Cinema and has its own language and it needs to be preserved at all costs.

As one sees Mr Nair’s dissatisfaction at the way things are being run by callous people who have taken over from him in the years after his retirement in 1991, I remember a time I met Dr Kurien, (the father of the white revolution and founder of the first milk co-operative in Anand, Gujarat, popularly known as Amul) after he had just retired. I saw the dissatisfaction of a man whose entire life was devoted to this endeavour and the people who were meant to carry his legacy forward were busy discrediting him. I see the same sadness and pain in Mr Nair’s eyes. Those reel cans are his babies. He knows them better than he knew his own children for the most part of their growing life! There is a pain in his eyes about so many films that were not preserved by the people who made them; they were not stored or they were sometimes even sold for the silver in the negatives as happened in the case of India’s first talkie “Alam Ara”. That is lost! And what a loss it is! But Shivendra’s film is about a celebration of what is not lost because of Mr Nair. It is a celebration of what has been passed on to the most unlikely film audience. A wonderful account of common villagers, areca nut farmers in the village of Heggodu in Karnataka proves this point amply. A simple people without a Cinema hall were exposed to the best of Indian and World Cinema by the founder of Ninasam in Hegoddu, B V Subanna. He, with the help of Mr Nair showed films as diverse as Wild Strawberries, Pather Panchali, Rashoman to a film illiterate audience. Mr Subanna would translate what is going on in the film into Kannada for the villagers. These simple folk were so drawn into the films shown to them that they can still recall their favourite Bergmen film or discuss the impact of Kurosawa and Ray while getting the areca nuts out of the fruit. Wow! This reminded me of Arun Kaka( Khopkar) telling me after one of his visits to Russia how the Russians are so clued in to their culture that even a taxi driver can recite Pushkin or discuss Eisenstein.

In today’s world where more and more film makers are switching from shooting on film to shooting in a digital format, Mr Nair’s wistfulness about the smell of the negative and the magic of celluloid makes a very strong impact. It leaves you feeling sad for a magical era slowly dying before your eyes. It makes your heart ache for the subjects of honesty, hope and compassion that were told in that bygone era. It makes you wonder why there aren’t any people like those film makers or Mr Nair any longer. In a country where incompetence, crassness and stupidity is what constitutes political power, niceness and honesty are no longer values people hold. Compassion just doesn’t exist. And pride in one’s job is unheard of. Only egos exist over jobs never done and corruption has spread faster than termites at a piece of wood. People in power break laws, get away with murder and build castles on the blood and tears of their less privileged and helpless fellow beings. Trampling on the rights of tax paying citizens is rewarded every day. The end has to be money, whatever the means, is the motto today. Selflessness and sharing are almost looked upon as a sign of madness. And Cinema has become a prisoner of monetary gain or the over touchiness and lack of tolerance of violent people quick to ban, protest and torch.

In all this inhumanity, Shivendra’s celebration of the celluloid man, Mr Nair acquires a significance that is not limited to the fascinating subject he is presenting. It is a cry to bring back all the goodness that our country once had and to preserve it. Yes! Preservation is the key! Thank you Mr Nair. And thank you Shivendra for preserving on celluloid Mr Nair’s great celluloid contribution. It’s a fitting tribute indeed in the centenary year of Indian films. But an even more fitting tribute to the man whose work undoubtedly established Dadasaheb Phalke as the father of Indian cinema would be to honour Mr Nair with the Dadasaheb Phalke award. Anyone in the Government listening?

Daam ek fillum anek! Bombay Talkies.

Bombay Talkies

One thing must be said, we have four of India’s best directors directing 4 shorts as a tribute to 100 years of Indian cinema. One goes in the theatre with a lot of expectations and some are fulfilled, others are not.  At the end comes a pathetic excuse for a song which should be shown the trash can immediately….did nobody hear this song before unleashing it on the poor audience? What a history we have of great Indian film music and we come up with this insipid tribute? It’s a shocking spoiler. But what precedes it is definitely worthwhile. Instead of the usual scenario where you have a lot of sound and fury and many crores of rupees spent on a length of 2 and ½ hours, signifying nothing (sorry Shakespeare) we have 4 delightful shorts succinctly told. I hope Bombay Talkies is a success just for the fact that more producers would back directors who would like to make a collection of short stories.  So here’s what I thought of them

Ajeeb Dastaan Hai Yeh…. Karan Johar.

I’m impressed with the tackling of a story with a gay protagonist. Though Saqib starts off on a great note, he falters a bit in his first scene with Rani, coming across as too glib. If I was his boss I wouldn’t have given him a trial run. But Rani’s character is more indulgent. Their friendship is fresh and I love her unquestioning, non-judgmental acceptance of his being gay. We need more sensitive portrayals of LGBT issues in the mainstream. Saqib gradually grows on you, it has less to do with his acting and more with the relationship he shares with Rani. And then, like all relationships, it becomes complicated. Rani I adore….even in films that are bad, she’s done a good job. Because she’s one of the best actresses we have. Maybe I’m biased.  Randeep shows the way to all actors who don’t know what to do in certain roles. When in doubt, play it down. He’s brave too, to play a character who finds his real self, discovers his alternate sexuality after years in a marriage that is pleasant, but one without passion. The use of Madan Mohan’s poignant “Lag jaa gale” is soul stirring. It makes you nostalgic and gooey eyed. The casting of the young street singer is wonderful. What I don’t like is the obvious studio recording of the young girl’s singing which just doesn’t match the rawness of the little girl’s situation.  Both the rendition of “Ajeeb Dastaan Hai Yeh”and “Lag jaa gale” suffers from the same studio sterility. But the first film has shown me a side of Karan Johar that has raised my expectations of him in his further works. Welcome Karan to the 1 and a ½ crore club :D

Star….Dibakar Bannerjee.

The story begins with amazing visuals. Just seeing the solitary mill chimney through the grills of the protagonist's window, brings on a nostalgia for the Bombay that was. Now the 'i'in the mill has changed to 'a'everywhere and the city is just not the same. The actress playing Nawazuddin’s wife is so real. So are the other women who banter with Nawazuddin. The casting director is really a star in this film. Dibakar got an Emu? Wow! It’s surreal….just like what happens to the protagonist (Nawazuddin) in this story based on a Satyajit Ray short story “Patolbabu filmstar”(I want to read the story)

An actor in search of any job (not necessarily acting), lands a walking part in a film shooting. He is given a dialogue  “Ae” to say as he bumps into the hero. And he has to walk away, that’s it! During the waiting period between being selected for the shot and the shot commencing you get to see his attempts at histrionics. You realise he’s a failed actor. Suddenly out of the garbage bin rises Sadashiv Amrapurkar and raises the film to another level altogether. He appears in the guise of an aged actor(who’s died long ago) playing  Vi Va Shirwadkar’s iconic “Natasamrath” in the Marathi play with the same title. Amrapurkar’s is a master class in acting. The energy, pitching, integrity and sheer talent just hits you in the gut. You want to stand up and applaud him and all the unsung heroes of theatre who have immense talent but gain very little in terms of money or fame. His scene with Nawazuddin is the most paisa vasool one for me in all the stories. And pardon me but Nawazuddin really struggles in this scene and also with the Marathi (Marathi bolnyaachaa attaahaas ka?) The scene in which he has to perform the iconic monologues of Amitabh Bachchan and Dharmendra, just left me cold. (Many people might disagree with me on Nawazuddin’s performance, because it’s not a politically correct thing to do. Even if you are the most powerful critic you NEVER say bad things about the bad performances of Bollywood stars AND star children, but you definitely DON’T talk ill of trained actors who’ve become stars in the event that you come off looking like a fool. But I maintain that even trained actors who have put up consistently good performances can fail if taken out of their comfort zones. And in any case I’m not a critic!) Nawazuddin really works when he doesn’t open his mouth.  And that’s not a compliment. His wife in the film has performed really well. He should have spent more time with her before the shooting perhaps! And of course the Emu leaves you wonderstruck. You are as wide eyed watching Dibakar’s short, as the Emu is watching everybody around it. Dibakar’s film is really magical and the only one out of the 4 that has stretched the brief. What a tribute to our cinema centenary and a tribute also to a man, a master, a genius, one of the greatest film makers in the world Satyajit Ray. And now I’m hungry for more. But it’s interval time. Sigh! When will we do away with intervals?

Sheila Ki Jawaani…. Zoya Akhtar.

The most disappointing of the 4 stories was Zoya’s “Sheila ki Jawaani”. There was so much potential in the story and the superb performances by the two child actors were to die for. But it was like an unfinished dream. Something was missing. I also didn’t like the choice of the horrid “Sheila ki Jawaani” as a song to gyrate to at the end of the film. As a parent I was disturbed. Not because the boy protagonist wanted to dress up like a girl and dance, but because I wouldn’t want even a young girl to gyrate to this adult song.  I felt the subject of gender specificity was not really tackled well. The story boiled down to a pair of really bad parents who had a pair of sensitive, creative children. The brother-sister relationship was so beautifully written and performed; Zoya needs to be lauded for that. Unfortunately she doesn’t seem to extend the same standards of acting to her adult cast of Ranveer Shorey (one expression throughout this film and in fact in most films he’s acted in), the actress playing his wife (totally forgettable and sorry, don’t know her name) and Katrina Kaif. I’m flummoxed by Zoya's choice of Katrina to tell one and all in an interview, that you can achieve your dreams if you believe in them strongly enough….all of us know if she was not associated with one of the biggest stars in Bollywood and he hadn’t taken her under his wings, she would be still walking the ramp after doing Kaizaad Gustaad’s forgettable “Boom”. To give it to her she looks every bit the fairy and I know kids adore her. Like Nawazuddin in Dibakar’s film, Katrina is most effective when she’s not speaking.  Theek hai…..at least one got to see two delightful children who performed with a rare maturity…..

Murabba….Anurag Kashyap

I expect a lot from Anurag who according to me is the ‘God of small films’ (sorry Arundhati Roy). I mean he is connected to 4 (or is it 5?) films showing at Cannes this year? That’s no small feat and should be applauded loudly. Here’s a maker who the French take seriously! (That’s saying a lot!) But as Spidey says, “With power comes responsibility” and I would add, “Expectations”! Is Anurag’s Murabba sweet? I would say, “Yes” for the most part, par rass kaa mazaa nahi aayaa! Rass thhaa hi nahi! There are some painfully contrived parts in this short that really made me wince,especially the breaking of the murabba bottle in the train. But the flaws that Anurag fails to cover up in terms of the flow of the narrative, he amply makes up for in the way he has shot the film and his complete command over the milieu, language and subject. Finally in the film, when Mr Bachchan meets the young fan from Allahabad, my jaw dropped more than the lucky actor playing that fan.  And he has really played the part well. I also loved all the other actors playing their small parts to perfection, especially the actor playing the security guard outside Prateeksha. This film is the sum of all these small parts. Finally,I have seen the crowds outside both Prateeksha and Jalsa a thousand times. And this story reflects the dream that brings so many people from all over India to Mumbai; a dream that very few realise. But in this khatta-meetha murabba there is a teekha ending when the half eaten murabba ends up in an achaar ki botal and one wonders why the father of the protagonist sent him on a painful mission to Mumbai at all? But then, how many people get to meet Mr. Bachchan in person? Magical? Just the thought….definitely!

Don’t stop here guys….bring more and more of it on….show the way for the next wonderful, exciting, path breaking 100 years of Indian cinema. Happy 100! J

Watch at your own risk!

What kind of love is this?

There is an ad for a new TV show which is showing on Life Ok Channel these days. It uses the very attractive ditty from the film ‘Mere brother ki dulhan’ “Kaisaa yeh ishq hai ajabsa risk hai”. A very cute couple is shown undergoing strange work outs. The sweet curly haired modern heroine tries walking on the treadmill balancing a ‘matka’on her head and her well- scrubbed, well- mannered boyfriend supports her endeavor literally as well as figuratively. At the end of trying to balance many pots which keep breaking and trying to wear a saree etc. the girl turns to the camera and says, “Sasural hai traditional, difficult hai situation” and the couple goes on to find a “solution” together. I am already dreading this teeny bopper romance because I can spot the germs of five years of worthless story unfolding in a manner which is similar to so many other regressive soaps running on TV today. If the heroine already knows how to keep the house well and cook for 100s of hungry sasuralwaalaas through the day with a “Ram” like beatific smile, the other ladies in the sasural instead of being happy will try their best to foil all her attempts, making life difficult for her. The other type of heroine who has been pampered all her life (read rich) and has not gone into the kitchen ever, falls in love with someone whose family will only respect a girl who can slave her ass off in the kitchen and feel happy to face their abuses at the end of it. Therefore this brand of heroine needs to be tamed and taught into submission so that all family members can be happy (usually at the end of 3-5 tedious long years). And in all this, nobody seems to do any work (I guess they survive on Mr Montek’s Rs 32/=). They are just floating around trying to cause distress to the heroine (wonder what their pet project was before the heroine arrived). What gets my goat is that these sasuralwaalaas have not reared their children, both male and female, with good manners or education. Yet they have the right to question, complain, abuse, torture the heroine-no questions asked. Who gives them this right? The girl’s parents, however well-educated and well-mannered they are have to bend backwards to please these crass sasuralwaalaas. Why? Because so says patriarchy! Why can’t the son in “Kaisa yeh ishq hai”say to his parents that it is high time you grew up and smelled the coffee of change. He should support and respect his sweetheart for what she is rather than what-she- will-be-once-she-is-tamed-and-becomes-traditional. After all he has fallen in love with a modern educated girl who has been brought up and taught to respect herself. It is time to do away with the ghunghats and the matkas on the head. It is time we show stories that are real. It is time to show respect for the education of girls, for the struggles of so many working women both rural as well as urban, who are trying to balance work and family. It is time to take for granted women’s roles which go beyond the kitchen. It is time our stories changed. Till then crassness will be considered a virtue; a fact brought out by all the violence against women and children in our lives today. No sir! Life like this is not ok and Life will not be OK unless we change what we are showing!Make Life Ok, at least in fiction!

Post 5: Au Revoir Mumbai Mantra Sundance Institute Screenwriter's Lab (Because 'goodbye' is so difficult to say)

Lord Krishna stands in the Tribhanga posture

I have a leisurely breakfast. My first session of the day is a free one. I am looking forward to writing Anu’s introduction (without dialogue J). 

At breakfast Sarthak with his headphones sits next to me. I want to know what he’s listening to. As if he’s read my mind he hands me the headphones and asks whether I like original sound tracks of films. I love OSTs. He promises I’m going to love this one-OST of Cinema Paradiso-Wow! It’s amazing. It’s put me in another world, another space, another frame of mind immediately. Zen! No wonder Sarthak doesn’t look like someone who is really part of our ribbing and chatting (except of course when he’s with his Bengali brigade!)He is either deep into his music or with his phone taking amazing pictures of all the proceedings.

Das Kapital oops! DasGuptas

Immediately after breakfast we have a feedback meeting of all the fellows with Michelle, Paul, Rohit and Aparna. They tell us how we are all going to be connected forever, a lovely film family. They will continue the mentoring as and when they can read our latest drafts, they will actively help us with contacts and introductions if we were to need them in USA. All of us are so relieved. It is so important for us to get feedback on our rewritten screenplays. We are all starting to feel the pangs of separation already, a bit orphaned almost and the scary feeling of being left alone on this journey once again is quite depressing. The assurance that not only will our screenplays be read by our mentors but both Sundance Institute and Mumbai Mantra look forward to all the updates about us, even of other writing work we are doing put the smile back on my face. Talk about sone pe suhaagaa!

Deeply reassured I head back home (room 3019) to write. From what Asif said yesterday most of what all the mentors wanted to tell me about “Tribhanga”had been said and done. What would Marti (Noxon) and I discuss? I think I’ll write something new and read it out to Marti. It would help me find out if I am going in the right direction. 

When I take out the notebook that I write in, I feel as if I’ve looked at it after so long. So many things have happened since I last wrote in it. I always write long hand. I can never start writing directly on a laptop. The physical aspect of watching the ink flow, to see it in my cursive handwriting, to scratch some things out, to doodle, are all very important for me to get the creative juices flowing. Sure enough, the moment my pen touches paper, it does not rest till I have poured out all that I have thought of, about Anu’s introduction. I remember the “Do Re Mi” song in Sound Of Music. The lyrics go, “Let’s start at the very beginning, A very good place to start; When you read you begin with A B C, when you sing you begin with Do Re Mi….”. So the introduction is a good place to begin. Somehow it flows so easily. It’s amazing what great guidance can do for you. My strides have an extra spring as I go for lunch.

At lunch it hits me that tomorrow at this time I will be on my way back home. None of us want the Lab to end. Even our lovely Mumbai Mantra gang of girls, Aparna, Rachna, Sneha and Himani carry the weight of the goodbyes we’ll have to say tomorrow.

It’s time to face my last mentor at the Lab. My newly written introduction in hand, I look for my mentor.

MARTI NOXON: (Buffy The Vampire Slayer) “Emotional”

                      

Marti has been very friendly from the very first meeting at the pre Lab dinner at Mahesh Lunch home. We’ve had so many general conversations before this that I am looking forward to this one related specifically to my screenplay. First of course I compliment her about her regular physical exercise. She attends Olivia’s Yoga session early every morning. She is really very fit. We also have another huge common point to discuss, our kids. Hers and mine are both exactly the same ages. In fact I’ve realised moms are moms anywhere in the world. Michelle’s children are in their twenties (technically you can’t even call them children) but when Michelle talks about them, I see the same worry, same pride, same concerns I have about my kids. Marti does mention that there is very little left for her to discuss about “Tribhanga”. The other mentors have really gone into the details. We talk of all the characters. She reiterates the relationships that need a once over. I ask her if I can read out what I’ve written. She is more than happy to react to it. I read it out to her and she responds very positively. She looks at me with her twinkling blue-grey eyes (so many shades of grey!) and says I’m on the right track. She encourages me not to give up what is so uniquely mine in the haze of all the ‘shoulds’ and goes on to tell me how much she’s loved Anu.

I feel like a proud mother whose kid has been praised for being talented. My Anu’s quite popular with my mentors.

We then talk of how she began writing and what her childhood was like. I am touched that she is sharing a part of herself with me with such generosity. It is quite a girly, emotional sharing. What a fitting end to the gruelling mentor-fellow discussions.

Mumbai Mantra has arranged for Mehendi artists for all of us. Marti is really excited about getting mehendi on her hands. So are Malia, Jackie, Michelle and I. I love Mehendi! The expert Mehendi artists draw beautiful patterns on our hands. The colour will keep increasing under the Mehendi and even long after it is taken off. Much like our Lab. The effects on our writing, our thinking, our approach is going to be so different, enhanced in all ways.

 We have a wrap up of the lab where all the mentors, Michelle, Paul, Rohit, Aparna and us fellows share the one memory that we will leave with, at the end of the Lab. There are so many, how can I talk of one. The Lab has impacted everyone very deeply. Apart from the generosity of the mentors, the hospitality of the Club Mahindra team has been outstanding. We say our half byes because the evening is going to be celebrated ‘Bollywood Ishtyle’. Everyone is looking forward to enjoying their last supper at Pavna.

Suddenly all that we have been taught is suspended as the DJ plays everything from Fevicol, to Zandu baam, to Fire Brigade to Jalebi Bai. It’s what we have to compete with, as we get out of here. The 100 cr club v/s the 1 cr gang.( I can see West Side Story in this battle). Mumbai Mantra has specifically told the DJ to play songs from the films our Indian mentors (Sabrina, Habib Faisal and Anjum Rajabali) are associated with. They also play my “Lo Chali main…”from “Hum Aapke Hain Koun”and insist I dance with it while it is showing on a big screen. It’s strange to dance to that track after 19 years and I see my mentors watching the screen with excitement because most of them haven’t seen me in my actress avatar at all. Their faces are worth recording. But then everything about the Lab is worth recording. Himani is the queen of the dance floor. She is so graceful and knows each and every step from whichever song is played. Her’s is an amazing performance. Paul is the other rockstar on the floor. The more Bollywood it is, the better for Paul. He dances like a man posessed. To see Joshua dance is also quite a treat, so different from his serious, studied personality. The last supper has really been energetic. After all the armchair thinking we've done, this pure dhamaal masti is such a refreshing change. Love every bit of it. It's well past midnight when we leave with a heavy heart.

Sumptuous isn't it?

Nitin and Dani- Writer-Director with DOP

The next day we leave after breakfast. We are packed in our cars and leave this dreamy place and time behind. Pratim, Sarthak, Nitin and I are in one car. That’s nice. Some more time to spend with them. We hit the 10 kms rough patch as soon as we leave the Resort. Again a reminder of reality.

I think of Robert Redford and what he has started and I thank him silently. He’s a real superstar. He has begun a movement of which I am a poud part. I thank him for his vision, philanthropy and generosity. And I thank all my mentors, facilitators and fellows too. And I know I will be thanking all these wonderful people every single day of my life.

Robert Redford (founder Sundance Institute)

  Kabir says it so beautifully:

       Yeh tana vish ki belari

          Guru Amrit ki khaan

              Sees diye jo Guru mile

                                 Toh bhi sastaa jaan!

Kavanjit caught between two tele'phonys' Pratim and I

Michelle, Bill wheeler, Malia (hidden), Habib and I

Neha and I (the hearts say it all)

Neha and Habib- no shadow of doubt!

Creative juices!

So if you have a story to tell I urge you emphatically to do what you must do. Log on to www.mumbaimantra.com and you’ll get all the details. Do not miss this opportunity. It is truly lifechanging! And now that I know a bit about screenplay writing I’ll end my Lab experience with- Fade out. J

POST 4: Paanch Adhyay aur Paanchva Adhyay bhi: 4 DOWN 2 TO GO! Sundance Institute Mumbai Mantra Screenwriting Workshop.

Room number 3019. Already home for me. We,humans are so strange! Adjusting to a new situation takes very little time. Adaptability! A part of evolution. “Tribhanga”is adaptable too. It’s already gone through a sea change since I’ve come here. It's more evolved now.

It's wonderful breakfast time  in the company of people I can now confidently count among my friends. J

After breakfast we all troop dpwn to the screening room for “Paanch Adhyay”,a film in Bengali directed by Pratim D Gupta, the baby (only age- wise) among us fellows. Pratim has a Yoda-like quality;an innocence coupled with a maturity way ahead of his years.

Paanch Adhyay starts with a beautiful Usha Uthup song and my spirits lift immediately. The aesthetically done titles shows the work of someone who understands the medium very well.

“Three gone, three to go” the first chapter in the five chapters is announced. The beautiful Dia Mirza is perfectly cast, but I immediately have a problem with the way Priyanshu plays the lovesick hero. Over the next two hours we go through the ups and downs in the relationship between this couple which marries, loses the romance, finds it elsewhere and comes back together only when they know that they are to be separated by a cruel circumstance. Why do we not say “I love you" enough, when we have the time? “Why don’t we show that we care? Why don’t we improve upon what we have rather than finding it in someone else? Why do we understand the importance of our spouse only when it’s too late? These are some of the questions which are thrown up through the story. The couple rests on the beach at the end of the film in a beautiful interlocked way; they are so much in sync but it’s too late. They are yin and yang; one incomplete without the other. There will be other lives together but this one’s all but wasted.

What works is the amazing visual sense that Pratim has. He has a very assured hand. I love Soumitrada’s scene-what a class act! And the lovely Dia in her tasteful Bengali sarees (I want them all) is beautiful to watch. What doesn’t work is the screechy second lead, a very important part of the narrative. She is playing Priyanshu’s ‘Charu’ (he is a reputed film director). The iconic ‘Charulata’ by Ray, Anna Karenina and Madame Bovary from literature have influenced generations of students of literature and cinema. The reference to a modern take on “Charulata” and the metopher of “Black Swan” is unfortunately not used very effectively in “Paanch Adhyay”  Good intentions,not so good results. The song that is used as a recurring theme through the film and which the film ends with, stays with you long after the film is over. But all in all “Paanch Adhyay”is a very brave film, even more so because it is Pratim’s first film. It reflects Pratim’s personality, mature beyond his age and it also means we have a writer-director among us who’s definitely going to go places with his next.

And now it’s time for my “Paanchva Adhyay”, my fifth mentor encounter. It’s Asif Kapadia.

ASIF KAPADIA: ( The Warrior, Senna) “ENDEARING”

                    

We find ourself a corner near the pool, used for lounging under normal circumstances. We, of course are going to use it for an intense discussion about my “Tribhanga”. Asif confesses that since the four previous mentors have already touched upon most of the glaring problems in my screenplay, he would like to discuss his response and get a feel of my writing through what kind of things I liked or disliked in my personal life. That’s different. That’s nice. Asif’s grey eyes are so reflective, introspective and exude peace. If I was Bertolucci making “Little Buddha”now, I would cast Asif in the role of the young Prince Siddharth whose tryst with pain and suffering led him to form a casteless, equal religion which showed the path to Nirvana by detaching oneself from all attachment; Buddhism. And I hold on to every word like a faithful devotee; Buddham Sharanam Gachhami! :-)
I keep berating my screenplay for lacking a strong story. Asif tells me quite categorically that a screenplay doesn’t have to follow the rules. I say that I can only break the rules if I know them. A valid atheist is one who knows his religion before denying God. I sheepishly admit I had no clue about the rules of screenplay. My knowledge of writing or even direction was through observation, seeing films, reading literature, learning on the job as an actress. I’ve had no formal training. Of course by now I did have a very good idea of what a good screenplay was meant to be. He asks me what my inspiration for these characters was. I tell him like I told my other advisors. He says he is amazed at the intensity of emotion there is in my characters. And surprisingly, it has a lot of humour too. He asks me what changes I foresee now that I have interacted with so many experts. I say I want to make my screenplay less verbose. I confess the obvious; my characters speak way too much. He says that’s not such a bad thing because he loves my dialogue writing. He says writing dialogue is a skill not many screenwriter’s are good at! Wow! That’s a huge compliment! He says I should not lose the punch in the dialogue while I am sorting out the story. Sometimes you don’t require to go from A to B to C if A is all that you want to say. You have to know what you want to say through your screenplay completely and you have to show it visually. He’s hit the nail. The screenplay wouldn’t sound so voice heavy if we could see it equally strongly. He says that’s going to be easy for me considering I’ve got the difficult part (characters and dialogue) out of my way. Wow! He’s so good for my ego. A small hopeful voice in my head asks, “ May I take you home with me Asif?” (Of course the voice stays in my head!)

He then turns to the male characters who are hardly developed. Again, the smile in those inward looking grey eyes (so many shades of grey; from Bill to Joshua, Malia to Asif) he says I don’t really blame you for the inconsequential men; they usually are. Yaaay! He’s a feminist!But he loves the character of Anu’s brother Robindro and wants me to give him a good look, as well as the character of Milind who is a biographer. Hmmm I agree completely. He asks me which film is my favourite. I answer without hesitation, Guru Dutt’s “Kaagaz Ke Phool”. He confesses he hasn’t seen it, but wants me to tell him why I like the film so much. I narrate the story and as I come to the end he says that it is a tragic story. I agree. He asks me whether that is the mood I want to create in my film/s. I disagree. My endings are always hopeful, not completely happy but better off than before. I’m an incurable optimist. I also love humour, satire, slapstick. I want to tell him that I love Dr Strangelove, Chaplin and Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron too, but I stop myself. He immediately says that my writing has too much humour in it to make it a classic tragedy.

It’s amazing how fidgity Asif is, shifting in his lounge chair every two minutes, trying to find equilibrium; but his thoughts, his even temper and focus belies that. Detached attachment? He asks me if I had anything else to add or ask. I don't have anything to ask or say, but I don't want this to end. This conversation has comforted me. It's warm khichdi for my soul. I have been magically healed. I can see that he is looking forward to a very good screenplay from me. I don't ever want to disappoint him! 
He tells me a few exercises he thinks would help me ‘see’ the film.
1) A chronological time line for all the major characters. 
2) 10 important events. 
3) Three page story. 
4)Only visual screenplay without the dialogues(the most important exercise for me, according to Asif).

It’s strange how after every intense advisor-fellow session I go back with so much inside me, so much has happened in terms of growth, enrichment; yet so little has changed outside.

I have so much to do and now I just want to sit and write.

I am glad for the free afternoon I have. I go to the Spa with my free voucher (Mumbai Mantra has spoiled us silly! I mean where do writer’s get so much bhaav? That too writer’s who are learning to write? But I’m not going to think along those lines.Main toh ab aam khaaungi, guthliyaan kyun ginun?)

The wonderful foot massage I get not only relieves the ill effects of the walk down to Pavna and the cramps that happened yesterday but also sharpens my thinking.Bliss!!!

After a sumptuous dinner we watch Carlos Cuaron’s short film “Second Bakery attack” based on a Murakami short story. He says he wants to show it because short films don’t get shown enough. He is so right. There is a hierarchy even in cinema. Feature length films always come first. Opportunities for shorts or documentaries are so rare. Carlos, the writer of the film with a cult following “Y tu mama tambien” is a very funny, honest man. He is Mexican and one can see the cultural difference between him and our American advisors at once. The distance in miles between USA and Mexico is not as much as the cultural difference. In fact watching his “Rudo y Cursi”I can’t help but notice the same chaos that defines India, especially Mumbai. I’m drawn into the tale of two football loving brothers at once. There sibling rivalry and revellery is endearing, emotional, bitter, funny, sometimes politically incorrect. I love listening to their Spanish. The bumbling brothers, their passions (which lead to their downfall) and their talents,(which they don’t appreciate enough) are so real I can almost see Carlos and his filmmaker brother Alfonso in their place. All writing stems from such a personal space. The q & a is also thoroughly entertaining. We get a good insight into Mexico through his film. Films are such a good way to travel! When Carlos confesses that the really kitschy parody of a song video shown in the film, of the kind he completely hates, goes on to become hugely popular, he is flabbergasted. He shares how one can never tell the response of the audience. 
Sitting in that screening room are twenty unique people with twenty unique responses. Once again the complete humility and vulnerability with which he answers hits me. Every time is like the first time, however lauded you are. Each new person is a potential critic or admirer. And the space between the end of the film and the first question is always the most painful.

I’m looking forward to writing tomorrow. Tomorrow is my Chhatva Adhyay and the last. I have a session off in the morning before my last advisor session.This dream experience will end. Not a very happy thought. Goodbyes scare me. Being a bad writer scares me more. But there is just so much that I have got out of this experience, I don’t want to think of the things that will make me cry. I will sleep and I will dream of Anu, Robindro and all the lovely people at the Lab. 
The real and reel will mix seamlessly.

Post 3; Day 2: Mumbai Mantra Sundance Institute Screenwriter's Lab.

DAY 2: What lies in store today?

At breakfast there is a lot of banter between Fellows. Neha is constantly ribbed and Terrie is called ‘Oh Teri’by Nitin. Nitin’s the PJ king among us and I come a not-so-close second. Sarthak with his earphones (was he born with them?), Pratim and Abhijit are into Bonging (that’s the word for Bengalis bonding) The lighthearted beginning to our day is a must in light of the serious discussions we are going to have with our mentors very soon.

 

First stop is our screening room where Nitin’s film ‘Filmistaan’is going to be shown. I am very curious about the kind of film Nitin has made. This guy whose day starts with looking at the bowl of honey at the breakfast table and saying‘Hi Honey’ has come to the Sundance Lab with a script inspired by Saadat Hassan Manto’s stories; he’s a study in paradox. As “Filmistaan” unfolds one gets drawn into the simplicity by which Nitin has told this humane tale. Pakistan and India, two nations, pitted against each other, being taught distorted histories so that hate is passed down the generations just as passionately as precious family heirlooms. But there’s a commonality that knows no boundaries. Something that runs deeper than hate. Here Nitin has used Indian films as a deep rooted connection. Also cricket in the latter half, but predominantly Film. The film unfolds with endearing simplicity, pathos, emotion and humour with the sceptre of untold violence and atrocities always evident in the background (the Taliban).Above all the film talks of friendship and loyalty. The performances (outstanding Sharib Hashmi and Inaamulhaq), dialogue and music carry the message beautifully.I’m impressed. No wonder the film is declared the best film in Hindi at the National Awards this year. There’s a lesson. Don’t ever judge a filmmaker by his ‘Hi Honey’s =D.

We’re ready to face our music for the day. I look for my mentor.

 

MALIA SCOTCH-MARMO: (the Hook, and worked with Steven Spielberg on many scripts) “Emphatic”

 

Malia and I have already got to know each other a bit at breakfast and lunch so I don’t feel as awkward as I felt with Bill or Joshua. She loves and admires all things Indian. She dresses in churidar kurtas and so does her daughter Jackie who has accompanied her to India. So it’s not surprising that she connects very deeply with the women characters in my script. When I tell her that strong, outspoken women are rare in Indian films except within the patriarchal framework; she says they are rare anywhere in the world!(the single largest minority-women)  She finds out from me what my interactions with Bill and Joshua were like and whether that had brought up any questions I would like to discuss. I ask her simply whether she believed I could make a good screenplay out of the material at hand. She emphatically says that I could! She praises the material at hand (because I can’t really call it a screenplay as it exists now) for it’s rawness and passion and reminds me that while getting into the structure, I should not lose out on these qualities that I have. That said, she tells me how a classic screenplay is divided into 5 parts. The introduction of the protagonist; then a bit of a resolution but not completely; the midpoint where things get very complicated; nearer the end when the situation is resolved but the film doesn’t end right there, it moves on to the point where you allow people to come out of the film and go home (hopefully happily). Give the audience a sense of closure.

She tells me that the introduction to my protagonist (Anu) has not been worked out very well. A) A lot of thought must go into how Anu is to be presented B)We must find out more about Anu’s character through some obstructions in her path which come as a surprise for the audience. An obstruction could be anything stopping her from doing whatever she wants; a thought, diversion, person, situation-anything. She says that introductions of all other primary as well as secondary characters have to be given the same thought and care. So we try and work out the different ways to deal with Anu’s introduction.

These are such important, practical and basic things. I am kicking myself, for not studying screenplays of films I’ve loved,for not reading published screenplays before I started writing this one.

I am thinking she must be feeling tired discussing such basics with me, but Malia doesn’t belittle me at all. In fact she shares so many stories, both personal and professional, that I feel I’m talking to a friend I’ve met after a very long time.

I’m also touched by the fact that she talks of Anu and my other characters as if they were living in the flesh. That makes me really want to see them all on the screen as soon as possible. I see the copious notes, markings and circling she has done on each and every page of ‘Tribhanga’and I feel truly privileged to be at the receiving end of such generosity.

At the end of our session she shares very humbly that with all the knowledge of what is right and what is wrong even expert screenwriters suffer from severe lapses of judgment and produce screenplays that do not work at all.

That’s so heartening and scary at the same time. Unki yeh gath hai toh hamaari kyaa hogi?

Terrie, Kavanjit, Aparna and Sarthak

It’s lunch time…… food, food, food, food, wonderful food (to be sung to the tune of the Amul doodh ad)

I’m ravenous. Anjum spots me and says that it is him and me next. He doesn’t have to remind me because we get a sort of call sheet every evening about what the programme is for us the next day. We also have Aparna to shepherd us in the right direction. I wish our film industry worked with such discipline. It’s amazing how I’ve not seen a single battle of the egos as yet. It’s so refreshing. It’s not just the air in Pavna. It’s the atmosphere at the Lab. And that comes from the top. Michelle and Paul come with that philosophy and partner with only the kind of people who will see their egalitarian, respectful, disciplined philosophy through. And they’ve really found the ideal partners in Mumbai Mantra; in Rohit and Aparna. I can’t believe I didn’t know any of them before this Lab!

Rohit Khattar (Mumbai Mantra)

Michelle Satter(Sundance Institute)

 

 

 

ANJUM RAJABALI: (Ghulam, Drohkaal, Rajneeti,  Aarakshan, Satyagraha) “EMPATHIC”

 

 

Anjum has single-handedly changed the face of our Writer’s Association. Due to his discipline, commitment and interventions, thousands of writers have been given their due. He is the only Indian mentor I have and I am really nervous about what he is going to say. None of the other mentors have a clear idea of what making an Indie film in India involves, but Anjum knows it all. He is part of the system and yet out of it. Also he knows the cultural ethos of my characters perfectly.

As we sit down to chat he categorically says that he has a very specific agenda vis a vis my script because the mentors earlier have dealt with quite a lot of what needs to be said. But in terms of the story (which he gently reminds me I don’t have)he has a lot to say and ask. So first he starts with my inspiration, why I decided on this particular line of thought rather than any other. Through these questions we come up with a lot of personal stories, his and mine which help us delve into the emotional core of my screenplay. I am privy to some of the dysfunctional relationships in his life and I feel so touched by the confidence he places in me. I feel almost like a Father hearing a confession. And immediately I apply the same sanctity to it. The converse therefore is also true. What I tell him stays between us. An unsaid pact, pretty rare for people who are practically strangers. And so we go through the emotional graph that my screenplay should take. He tells me that my characters speak so brutally and honestly that it is visceral……”baat aatonse aati hai”he says. That’s a huge compliment! Somehow,It is very important to me and my self confidence that Anjum should like my writing. And I love the way he tells me that there are huge lacunae and huge problems with my screenplay as it stands; but despite that there is something about it which brought it from a journey of 1 among 500, to 200, to 30 and finally 8. As I am reminded of that, I realise the faith by which I have been brought here. I am also reminded not to get daunted by the task ahead. Anjum assures me of any help I need even after we go back from the Lab and my spirits rise. I am already feeling horrible that all this luxury of ONLY thinking about writing in an elite group of writers, with the best mentors and the best hospitality ever,is soon going to end.

The last things Anjum suggests are some practical things to do. First download Celtx free screenwriting software, write a 2-3 sentence premise, a 1 page pitch, a 4 page story outline and a step outline of each scene and then I’ll be good to go. That’s all there is to it Anjum says with a broad grin and pats me on the back in an avuncular manner.

Whew! That’s all there is to it? That’s ALL? Ha ha ha ha!

(I laugh a lot when I’m hysterical)

I can see ‘Tribhanga’taking forever because the “that’s all there is to it” could take a lifetime!!!

After these four sessions there is so much to mull over and assimilate that I am looking forward to some time I’m going to get for rumination. A trip down to Pavna lake has been arranged. I go to the screening room where everyone is to assemble, to say my byes. But that is not to be! My Fellows protest my not going. But I don’t have walking/running shoes I tell them. (I didn’t get any because I wanted to concentrate only on mental exercise in the Lab). Our beautiful facilitators from Mumbai Mantra, Rachna, Himani and Sneha said that they would help me climb down but I should definitely go along. My protests about not having shoes are drowned out by everyone. They say that I would require a will to walk, not shoes. Ok! I am convinced. Lake Pavna from a distance is so beautiful, it would be good to experience it from up close. And with all the wonderful food at the Lab I think a bit of physical exercise would do me good.

The descent to Pavna is steep and I managed with a lot of help from Sneha. My toes are desperately trying to grip the chappals which are just not in a mood to go in that particular direction. But reaching Pavna makes it worth all the trouble. We relax, click pictures of each other and enjoy the solace of silence that only nature can offer.

Himani, Aparna, Sneha, I and Rachna
 

 

 

 

 

But it is soon time to return. The climb up is really steep. I am huffing and puffing on the way up. Just about a fourth of the way up my chappals give up AND I get a cramp in my poor toes. It is so excruciatingly painful, I want to howl. How am I going to make it? Suddenly everyone feels guilty about forcing me to come without shoes. I try walking barefoot and immediately get a cramp in my other foot as well! Malia has extra sandals(bless her), so Aparna wears Malia’s sandals and lends me her shoes. But I can’t raise either foot without making the cramps worse. This is terrible! It would soon be Sun down and that would make climbing up worse. Poor Nitin is rubbing my feet,trying to get the cramp out desperately.

Others are giving me juice, water to drink and bananas to eat. The only happy guy is Kavanjit because he was huffing and puffing as badly as I was, and he desperately needed the rest. Sarthak said that I should not worry about the dark because we have torches. A small voice in my head says ",what if we’re stuck here for the whole night?" I bawl. The pain in my feet and that there are seven people stuck here with me due to my cramps is just too much to take. My friends don’t know what to do to alter the situation. I decide I’ll try walking little by little, it’s better than sitting in one place. So it is that we finally reach the Resort. Olivia (Bill’s girlfriend) who is a physiotherapist, checks my feet, ices them and asks me to put them up and rest. I decided to do exactly that.

I miss the screening and Q & A of Joshua’s film “Forgiveness of Blood”.But I am too beaten to feel bad about that. While I rest I get many more cramps, but luckily I don’t have to climb.

One thought sticks with me as I sleep. The journey to Pavna and back was difficult, but it is over. The journey of my screenplay will begin after the Lab ends. I won’t have these lovely people with me at that time. I won’t have any help!!!